Last night I was kept awake, and alert, by this overwhelming feeling of gratitude. Alternate nostril breathing and meditation can usually lull me to sleep, but not this time… my heart felt like it was going to explode from all this love I felt. I can only guess it was the residue of the gratitude I had just expressed to my teachers. Then came this inner voice – “And what about your students Imola? Have you forgotten them?” So here goes my second part of my previous blog entry, which I sketched out late at night when the house was asleep: Gratitude for my students – my greatest teachers.

When I recall my students, I’m thinking back on my first ever yoga classes with my friends Sonia, Nicki and Elspeth who graciously allowed me to experiment on them and were my enthusiastic, loyal guinea pigs. Then how can I forget the tea, the laughs, the stretches and breaths I’ve shared with my prenatal yoga groups when we were all nervously expecting our first, then second little bambinis? And more recently, I’m deeply appreciative of my private student Phuong, who reminds me so much of myself at the beginning of my yoga journey: The eagerness, the curiosity with a blend of fear of failing to “perform”, appearing silly, like a fish out of water, not exactly sure what to expect, what to do with those hands and feet. Like my kind yoga teachers, I start with the breath. I lay my hands gently on his back to encourage a freer flow of breath into these undiscovered territories. First there’s more tension, but then slowly it happens: His breath expands, his body loosens, his solemn expression gives way to a charming smile (and soon enough - to happy chuckles!), his classic beginner’s claw-like hands are magically transformed into beautiful yoga wings, et voilà - he takes off! He is not only unafraid to attempt those scary yoga poses, but unafraid to take up dance and figure skating!! I’m always so happy, so proud and so inspired to hear about his new ventures! I’m grateful to know such a brave “student” who teaches me it’s never too late to try out new things.

But nothing humbles me as much as being a parent. Every day I’m reminded of my great responsibility of guiding two little people into the world and providing them with all that they need to become strong, smart, and above all – kind and loving people.  The greatest yoga - and life! - lessons I have learnt from my 3 and 5 year old girls. As they ask their innocent questions: “Maman, toi tu étais une soldate, mais tu ne l'aimait pas ça, ha? Pourquoi? (mum, you were a soldier, but you didn’t like it, right?), “Maman, pourquoi le papa et la maman d'Eden ne vivent pas ensemble?” (Why don’t Eden’s mummy and daddy live together?), “Maman, tu sais, ça existe - l'amour entre deux filles.” (Mummy, you know it exists – love between two girls) and “Maman, pourquoi tu ne veux pas manger de la viande? Je veux que tu me explique tout ça, tout de suite!” (mummy, why don’t you eat meat? I want you to explain it to me, right now!), I am asked to reflect on my whole life philosophy and what important lessons I want to pass on to them.

Children think in simple terms and live in the present. Politicians’ convoluted (bullshit) explanations for starting wars that they can feed to adults would be lost on them. As my 4-year-old daughter so eloquently explained to me the hopeless Israeli-Palestinian conflict: “Ils doivent apprendre à partager!” (They have to learn to share!)

Watching my 3 year old dance so freely, and my 5 year old throwing herself fearlessly into a headstand, I realize that much of my yoga teaching to adults is not about teaching them new tricks, but about helping them unlearn the bad habits they (we all!) have accumulated over the years! We can all draw inspiration from children about how we could live more authentically, have more fun and approach everything in life, even the hard stuff, with curiosity and a sense of play! Watching my girls dance, laugh, cry and even throw a tantrum, I am always reminded that I should just soak it in and stop being so afraid!

I love teaching, but I love learning just as much. I have recently had the chance to take part in an incredibly inspiring workshop with Nico Luce I had first “met” on my yoga on line. I immediately gravitated to him. Yes, he can do all those impossible yoga poses beautifully and somehow make it look easy, but more importantly – he is a very knowledgeable teacher, especially when it comes to Yoga’s rich philosophy.

Besides our shared passion for yoga, we have another thing in common: we teach and write in English, but English is not our mother tongue. Nico has a cute accent and speaks English more eloquently than most native English speakers I know. Why? To be able to teach yoga in English, he told me, he approached each and every word with curiosity, studying its root diligently. This is how I’ve learnt from him, for example, that the word “courage” comes from the French word “cœur”  - heart.  And this piece of seemingly irrelevant information actually does help me to lead with my heart, before I lift myself into handstand successfully for the first time! I suppose there lies Nico’s other talent: He won’t coerce you into any pose, but rather invite you, entice you, gently and respectfully, until you simply cannot resist trying.  And before you know it, you may find yourself extended in a handstand or some twisted arm balance. Perhaps this is why I see 60 plus year olds just as comfortable in his class as the fit twenty something year olds?

The workshop was called “The Power of choice” and the first class focused on the first, inevitable aspect: Acceptance. Not the acceptance of a bad situation in powerless resignation, but first accepting that “this is what it is”, before you consider whether you’re willing to make peace with the situation, choose to change it, or walk away from it. I’m getting teary thinking about the situations I’ve had to accept this year – losing someone dear to me, a health scare, standing up to my doctor and a path that would have taken me further away from myself, then finally, with some struggle, getting in touch again with my core values, my inner strength and conviction… oh it’s been a tough, challenging year and I have shed a lot of tears. But I agree with Nico’s suggestion that these challenges, although painful and unpleasant, can indeed be valuable teachings. I have learnt a lot.

Life is full of them – those teachings… some are more obviously beautiful, some take you on a darker path. And when you’re deep in the dark woods, lost and scared, it can feel very unjust and even desperate. I know I’ve felt that. At times I thought I’d never see the light, but it shone on me anyways, just when I was least expecting it. And then, when you are finally standing in the full-blown light, it is easier to look back with gratitude. Gratitude not only for those kind angels who held your hand and pulled you out of that dark place (which is never to be underestimated or taken for granted!), but gratitude even for those less obvious teachers who challenged you, hurt you and ultimately  - made you question what it is that makes you you’re authentic you.

The workshop has only just begun and I’m standing in Tadasana – mountain pose. I’m a wobbly mountain today, but a grateful wobbly mountain. Before I extend my hands up to the sky in the first Sun Salute I think back on my teachers. My influential, tough loving acting teacher Judith, my many inspiring yoga teachers like Rod Stryker and Nico Luce (to name just a few), my loving friends who were not afraid to tell me some uncomfortable truths, my brother who has always been there for me, my family, my girls who teach me new things every day and then those less obvious teachers who I struggled with. I’m reaching up to the sky with an open heart then bow down in gratitude – to all of them. Here I am – alive, healthy and strong. And I am truly very grateful.